Who will win the 2019 Democratic Debate? (the answer will change your life)


It’s fight night in the Adrienne Arsht Center
for the Performing arts. Brought to you by the new Monster Energy flavor
Redundancy: because fighting off a heart attack with our caffeinated syrup vomit is about
a fruitful as thinking that electing an established democratic into power will do anything to
change the plutocratic dystopian nightmare that is the United States of America. Ten Presidential hopefuls (and ten more people
you’ve never heard of) will square off in the most the most pointless blood sport since
. One lucky victor will achieve virtually nothing
as their polling numbers don’t indicate any of them having a chance besides maybe
three of them and even then thanks to a corrupt and rigged system Joe Biden will most likely
become the nominee. But before everyone has to grit their teeth
and pretend that he’s basically a conservative who doesn’t openly condemn gay people for
existing, sit back and enjoy this Monster Energy Redundancy sponsored poo flinging festival
that will leave the GOP smiling and eating popcorn because they’ve set the bar so low
for what could be called an acceptable human canidate that they’ll never have to try
again. Not to mention be thankful that this will
completely overshadow the 17th woman to come forward and accuse the President of the United
States of ra…SPONSORED BY MONSTER! UNLEASH THE REDUNDANT BEAST! Kamala Harris – Mothers lock up your daughters,
Fathers lock up your mothers. Catch that incarcerated fever because Kamala
Harris is bringing her prosecutorial skills to the debate stage harder and faster than
she does when she locks up single mothers for their children’s truancy. Her candidacy walks the tightrope of wokeness,
vying to be the first woman president while also being a POC, at the same time a woman
whose prosecutorial history includes such transphobic cruelty that Mike Pence is want
to call her mother. Pete Buttigieg – A man who cares deeply about
LGBTQ issues, partly because they directly affect him. He could potentially be the first openly gay
president of the United States. He boasts a long list of admiral positions
such as climate change being a national emergency and the adoption of a single payer health
care system. He also appears to be a grade A clown at handling
the illeg al k illing of innocent black people. Cory Booker – He may not be the first black
president but he would certainly be the first openly vegan president, Cory Booker has made
a name for himself endorsing generally positive progressive ideas such as overturning the
ban on trans people in the military and endorsing the green new deal. While he supports medicare for all he doesn’t
want to end private insurance, which may be in part due to his significant corporate donor
base. Considering what a political opportunist he
is when the camera’s turn on, it could very well be he’d be an effective president if
we never stopped filming him. Andrew Yang – The technocratic silicon valley
bro, here to save the world with 8000 policy proposals each as half baked as the last. The unlikely candidate to propel UBI to the
forefront of the political discourse,using it as a trojan horse to erode every remaining
social safety net America still clings to. Once gone and the parasites sucking at his
business laden teet are dead he’ll be left to fend off the massive alt-right fan base
he’s collected known colloquially as the yanggang. Bernie Sanders – While he doesn’t believe
in open borders publically and frankly would have a harder time being elected president
if he did than he currently does trying to explain socialism to old people, he’s still
the best chance the country has to shift the overton window away from the dark authorocratic
dystopian nightmare that it has become. His superpower seems to be appearing more
amazing with each video that his opponents leak of him to his rabid fan base of millennials
and Gen Z’ers who don’t want to grow up in a dystopian hellscape. Beto O’Rourke – Why are you here? Amy Klobuchar – Shattering gender and regional
stereotypes by bravely showcasing that Women and Minnesotians can be just as insufferable,
abusive and tyrannically hellish to work for as any viagra popping sociopathic politician
currently residing in the beltway. Julian Castro – The democratic race is chock
full of similarly looking middle age white men that share no discernable policy, gravitas
or political standing….but what if we were to tell you that you can have that same bland
nothingess…..but in Latino. To be fair he does want to tax the rich more
to pay for medicare for all but he was the pro-fracking mayor of San Antonio who now
claims that climate change is a thing. Bill DeBlasio – A man who watched as Donald
Trump a clownish reviled figure in the great city of New York became president and thought……hey
why not me? Tulsi Gabbard – The youngest woman to ever
be elected to a US state legislature Tulsi gained a lot of support from the progressive
movement for resigning to endorse Bernie Sanders for President. When it was later revealed that she did so
as a convenient way to counter a primary challenger from the left. A decade ago she was a pro-life opponent of
same sex marriage but has since changed her ways yet her positions on foreign policy are
their own slice of “what is wrong with you?”. Elizabeth Warren – A woman with an admirable
track record of taking on wall street and the fat cats while pledging her unwavering
support for capitalism whenever asked. Her biggest scandal involves buying into Trump’s
racist name calling and embarrassing herself by playing the Aboriginal card in a poker
game no one asked for. Still compared to Trump she’s pretty much
a messiah sent to save the world but then again most people are. Joe Biden – The former vice president who
never met a school he didn’t want to segregate or a young girl he didn’t want to sniff. He puts the O in ‘oh he’s not actually
in the GOP’? Having voted for don’t ask don’t tell,
the defense of marriage act, supports the death penalty, is against single payer health
care, opposes the legalization of marijuana, and voted for the war in Iraq . He has also taken time from his busy campaign
trail to repeatedly reassure the rich that their wealth will only grow under his watchful
eye. If you’re looking for another status quo
to rule over you like a less snappily dressed monarch then he’s your man. So strap in and inject a can of Redundancy
directly into your veins as one of the highest rated political events of the year goes on
to make NBC a buttload of cash. Meanwhile, we’re left with the wreckage of
knowing there’s only a finite amount of time left to save the world while the economic
disparity gap grows larger in size than Joe Biden…SPONSORED BY MONSTER! UNLEASH THE REDUNDANT BEAST!

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. How is it we got over 300 million people in the US and yet the handful of people running for the highest office in the land you wouldn't even trust them to pick up your dry cleaning?

  2. I learned some new things (and I've already extensively researched most of these candidates). Also, I laughed. Hell yes.

  3. I'm apologizing on behalf of my fellow texans for Beto. We thought he could maybe beat Cruz. He couldn't. For some reason that made him think he could be president.
    also he's pretty fucking dumb.

  4. Dlive? Dont do that dude a literal scam please dont. Mixer, Twitch, Facebook live, Peroscope literally anything else but Dlive. A literal crypto scam

  5. This was absolutely glorious. (And thank you thank you thank you for pointing out the huge problem with Yang's UBI plan because not enough people are talking about that)

  6. I deliberately avoid hearing politicians speak because it's better for my brain if I only have to read their words, but Buttigieg sounds like Kermit the Frog.

  7. Okay, but Tulsi Gabbard criticism is either ill-informed or plain disingenuous. She has since come out and said she's against torture, plus her votes to close Guantanomo Bay reflect that. And I've never heard of that "endorsed Sanders for her primary" argument. It sounds absurd. She's popular in her district and literally gave up a position of power to help the underdog. I have a hard time believing she was in fear of losing her seat. And didn't Sanders lose Hawaii? I have criticisms of Gabbard, but these aren't among them.

    Very disappointed in the lackluster criticism of Warren here, in comparison. She is actively avoiding universal healthcare (and apparently only supports it for those a certain age and older), is a war hawk, and has openly admitted that she's willing to take PAC money. Plus, she apparently has been. Framing her biggest scandal as the whole Native American thing is just… No.

  8. Excuse me, can I still watch the video if I don't want my life changed? Can the video change just parts of my life? Like the part where I don't have a job or health insurance? Or the part where every day is a fight to climb out of chasms of despair?
    On 2nd thought, I'll go ahead and watch.

  9. Top 3 worst dems in the race:
    1) Joe Biden – fuck Joe Biden
    2) Tulsi Gabbard – weirdly sympathetic towards fascist dictators
    3) everyone else – what the fuck are they even running for?

    Only sensible option is Warren/Sanders

  10. Redundency: When you start to think that cardboard mixed with dry concrete is more tasty than our broken political system that thinks change is scary.

  11. Look, I’m a big fan of this channel, but this kind of leftist cannibalism is not helpful. If you set up the primary as a zero sum game where it’s only successful if Bernie is nominated, then you begin to deny any distinction between the others.

  12. 7:19 markets don't appear out of thin air nor are they natural, they're markets based on demand and distinction based on capitalism. She knows she's being deceptive

  13. Bernie is too good for this world,he doesn't have the cajones to fling mud and grovel and scheme to the top.It's a soulless job and he has too much of a soul.

  14. So best choice is Wareen or Sanders but we are getting Biden and its going to be 2016 all over again but with less hot sauce.
    yay I cant wait…..

  15. Agree with everything but your take on Tulsi. She's absolutely one of the most Progressive candidates running

    Tulsi's Platform
    *Stepped down from the DNC to support Bernie who was being cheated
    *For eliminating all tax loopholes for the elite and big corporations
    *For ending save havens and offshore accounts
    *Antiwar Pro-Peace
    *Pro Choice
    *Supports Campaign Finance Reform
    *For Ending Superdelegates
    *For Open Primaries
    *Early Supporter of Medicare For All
    *A lifelong environmentalist
    *Supported the stimulus program
    *Supports LGBTQ rights
    *For ending private prisons
    *Takes an aggressive stance towards climate change
    *Supports reinstating Glass-Steagall
    *Was a pioneer in the Stop Arming Terrorists Act
    *Supports legislation of marijuana
    *Fights for paper ballots
    *Supports cutting of defense spending
    *Voted to repeal the patriot act
    *Supports Universal Basic Income
    *Voted to raise the minimum wage
    *For a Green New Deal
    *Voted to protect Social Security and Medicare from privatization
    *For free public College
    *Supports raising taxes on the rich
    *In favor of leaving Afghanistan
    *Against PAYGO
    *Pro Labour Unions
    *Pro Net Neutrality
    *Advocates for sensible gun control
    *Quick to speak out against meddling in Venezuela
    *Would pardon Julian Assange
    *Fought with Bernie Sanders & Jill Stein on behalf of Native Americans at Standing Rock
    https://youtu.be/eq1IOK7pkq0
    https://youtu.be/Rj0ug95NvNQ

  16. I don't think Medicare for All means an end to private insurance, just like the Post Office doesn't mean no FedEx. In Canada they have socialized medicine and private insurance.

  17. A lot of accurate stuff here! Also a lot of mischaracterizations… Not very impressed with this one but will continue to watch future videos… ✌

  18. https://medium.com/@JS_M/a-comprehensive-list-of-pete-buttigiegs-efforts-to-promote-racial-justice-and-equity-in-south-bend-f36195648f04

  19. LOL yanggang = alt-right? C'mon

    Also, the clip of Yang never mentioned cutting social programs…Why are so many progressives against Yang's campaign? Their critiques are always argued in bad faith.

  20. Whoa whoa whoa fellas. I think it's a little presumptuous to be so hard on Beto when he hasn't even announced Beto 4.3.739. Give the poor guy a chance

  21. Unless people change both houses of Congress to be progressive, then who's president is irrelevant because no progressive bill will be sent to the president to be signed.

  22. Boy! I sure can't wait for America to decide between two not so great candidates! It's the sequel to the 2016 election nobody asked for!

  23. Thizeass clowns tried to keep Tulsi limited but she still out shines them by a mile they are afraid of her

  24. I just appreciate the quality of these videos as always. I feel like I can share this with anyone I know that might vote in the primaries

  25. That clip of Gabbard is old and misleading. Tulsi has since clarified her stance as anti torture. https://youtu.be/IEheU3khFbQ

  26. Although I watched the debate with The Majority Report, great job highlighting the problems of each candidate! It would be a sad day if Biden were to win the primary when we have Sanders or Warren as viable alternatives.

  27. Had to replay a segment to see you were saying stuff like Single Payer was a good thing, even if as a trojan horse for generally bad things like reducing safety net.

    I've been kind of surprised in how many "socialists" I've found on youtube that seems to hold onto some generally regressive and right wing ideas. I realize it's a range, and people aren't always entirely left wing or right wing.

    But to claim stuff like single payer healhcare and Universal Basic Income is right wing is disingenuous at best. It's not those systems itself, but how the right wing sabotages them.

    We should try to relinquish as many right wing ideas as we can.

    Not just go, woa UBI scary because "big daddy govment" will use it as weapon. There are ways to implement UBI in a non hierarchical fashion.

  28. Tulsi later clarified that she did not know much about that report as it had just come out… As regards her anti gay past, she comes from a Christian conservative household (dads was an anti gay conservative Christian) and yet her voting record is pro LGBT… This seems like a smear job, this things are already addressed… Shame…

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