Republican Governor of Kentucky Loses Reelection Bid to a Democrat

-Matt Bevin, the Republican
governor of Kentucky, lost his re-election bid
to a Democrat yesterday, despite President Trump holding
a campaign rally on Monday in the state to support him. Wow, Trump has
the reverse Midas touch. Everything he touches
turns into second place. I’ll bet when he
picks up a diet Coke, it turns into a diet Pepsi. That’s right, the Republican
governor of Kentucky lost his re-election bid
to a Democrat yesterday, which is a big deal,
because governor is Kentucky’s
second-highest office. [ Laughter ] Senator Lindsey Graham
said today that President Trump’s policy
toward Ukraine was incoherent and called the administration “incapable of forming
a quid pro quo.” Ah, yes, the old “he couldn’t
have committed these crimes, he’s too stupid” defense. Lindsey Graham would make the
world’s cattiest defense lawyer. “Your honor, my client was at
home on the night in question. I know, because he is never
invited anywhere.” [ Laughter ] According to analysts,
the number of false news reports about U.S. politicians
being shared on Facebook may create a “Titanic-sized
disaster in the 2020 election.” Except, this time,
the berg isn’t ice. It’s Zucker. [ Laughter ] I judge your response as fair. [ Laughter ] Starbucks has released
their annual holiday cups with feature — which feature
four different designs, and you can arrange them to
reveal a fun holiday message. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Authorities in Florida
are looking for thieves who stole
a 300-pound bigfoot statue. Unfortunately, the only photo
they got was blurry. [ Laughter ] You’ll hear better jokes tonight but none of them
that I like more. Justin Bieber today released an
all-natural and vegan deodorant called Here + Now. Though, is this really the guy
to sell a deodorant? I mean,
I can smell this picture. [ Laughter ] That’s right. Justin Bieber today released an
all-natural and vegan deodorant called Here + Now,
as in, “Here, put this on. And now, you smell terrible.” [ Laughter ] And finally, Buckingham Palace
announced today that any new outfits
designed for Queen Elizabeth will not include real fur. Well, technically what they said
was, “We ran out of corgis.” [ Audience groans ]

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. i think, for the last joke, they will send their Corgy Army ;o Lead by the Queen herself.
    That was Corgy-harrassment^^

  2. How is it that one of these candidates looks like Nosferatu, and the other one looks like a regular guy ?

    … oh, thatโ€™s why.

  3. the Titanic hit a Zuckerberg joke is only good for folks who talk German .. but i guess SugarMountain is funny too

  4. As an Instructor I LOATHE Bevin. I want my retirement I was promised 20 years ago. Thanks for trying to take that away.

  5. The "too stupid" defense worked for Don Jr and Jared! Mueller did not indict them for the Trump Tower meeting with the Russians because he accepted the thesis that they were too dumb to realize that it was illegal…

  6. ๐Ÿ”น๐Ÿ”น๐Ÿ”น๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™ VOTE BLUE 2020 ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ต๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”ท๐Ÿ”น๐Ÿ”น๐Ÿ”น

  7. It's a good start on the rescue of the country from the republican lawlessness and disregard for the will of the people. Nobody will miss Bevin.

  8. Just one little thing to tell you, those small leather goods that you buy, like wallets for example, they are often dog or cat skin because the leather is from places like China. So you may have a purse, wallet or some other item that is made from a corgi, certainly from a pupper. No I donโ€™t own any leather myself and Queen Elizabeth has gone fur free, something that a lot of us are happy about.

  9. Zukerberg looks so robotic and burnt out lmao. Dude always looks like he just saw some PTSD type traumatic experience lel

  10. That Titanic/Zucker-berg joke was genius. The setup needed work, but the overall idea was gold.

    The joke missed. The joke is dead. Long live the meme.

  11. Sadly, I do not think this is a "slam dunk for democrats"! I'm more concerned that he will be Re-elected even if the shift of power in senate goes to democrats. It like people will vote a "balance of powers". Keeping the president

  12. In that photo Bevin looks like Kevin Arnold grew up bitter and jaded.
    Also, Beiber's all-natural, vegan deodorant comes in the typical non-recyclable plastic dispenser, completely defeating the purpose. Totally apropos for the Biebs.

  13. One sentence rebuttal of Trump's defence regarding the Ukraine shakedown:

    He wasn't asking them to DO a "corruption" investigation* ; instead he was insisting that they publicly SAY ** that they would do a Biden investigation**

    * he expressed no interest whatsoever in the doing, and sought no assurances that it would be done.
    ** on CNN (not in the Ukraine media). Trump hates CNN with a passion but he knows that would reach independent US voters. He already has the votes of most Fox viewers.

    **Further explanation: if they DID a proper investigation, they would likely exonerate the Bidens. He wanted the innuendo without the endo.

  14. Elections should never be about looks and style and then I LOOK at both guys and damn. Andy looks like a healthy normal man and Bevin is a living zombie with decaying skin colour.

  15. All the jokes were hilarious. Seth's look after the last one was priceless. And the Epstein one is nothing but truth. I'm glad he's burning in hell but there's still a lot of ugly truth that needs to come to light.

  16. seth is one of the best night shows because his sheer dedication to bad jokes and ability to mock himself and fans. LOVE the personality to this show

  17. Who on the staff is so obsessed with Corgis? Seth includes way more Corgi jokes than any other late night show. LOL!

  18. Lindsay Graham was once a "decent" Republican, now he is a regular passenger on the little bus because of his unshakable defense of anything that Trump does.

  19. ๐Ÿ™„ Seth. That Corgi joke makes ZERO sense as the Queen is perhaps civilizations biggest Corgi lover. (alive Corgi, not fur Corgi) I mean, really…to whom did you throw a bone agreeing to put that fail on air?

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