Jimmy Zones Out Recapping the Fifth Democratic Debate

-Well, last night was the fifth
Democratic presidential debate. Because after a full week of
impeachment hearings, what better way to relax
than watching 10 Democrats yell at each other? [ Laughter ] It’s been nonstop politics
all week. Seriously, I think I’m watching
way too much news. Last night, I listened to
Rachel Maddow talk for an hour, then I realized my TV
wasn’t even on. [ Laughter ] At last night’s debate,
Pete Buttigieg did very well. Yeah. Yeah, he tried to separate
himself from the field by claiming that he was the
least wealthy person on stage. Then he added,
“But that could change after my parents give me
my allowance.” [ Laughter and applause ] That’d be nice. “An extra quarter? Thanks, Dad.” [ Laughter ] Meanwhile, Joe Biden had
some pretty big blunders on issues of race
and domestic violence. I don’t know if you saw this. Or as Biden’s campaign is
calling it, “A pretty average night.” [ Laughter ] But this is true. While talking about
domestic violence, Biden said, “We need to keep punching at it
and punching at it.” [ Laughter ] At that point
even Trump was like, “Why did I even call Ukraine? He’s doing it to himself.
He’s doing it to himself.” [ Laughter ] Yeah, Biden also caught heat
for saying that he “came out of
the black community.” When she heard that,
Rachel Dolezal was like, “Well, he has my vote.” [ Laughter ] This is big.
I saw that before the debate, Bernie Sanders picked up a huge
endorsement from Ariana Grande. Yeah, when asked how he got
her support, Bernie said, “I see it, I like it,
I want it, I got it!” [ Laughter and applause ] Not only did Bernie
get Ariana’s endorsement, he also went backstage
after one of her concerts. Take a look. This is real. Yeah. The photo took a while because
they used Bernie’s camera, and they had to keep
loading the flash powder. It’s like, “Alright, alright,
nobody move. Here we go, alright.”
[ Laughter ] “Gonna have to wait for it to develop for three hours
and then –” Actually I think Bernie’s time with Ariana really had
an impact on him. -Yeah. -Did you see him
at last night’s debate? Look at this. I mean —
[ Laughter ] “Slay all day!” Well, at last night’s debate, it
was great seeing 10 candidates have a civil back-and-forth about the country’s
most pressing issues. Now all we have left
is another debate in December and then there’s
the Iowa caucuses February 3rd. And then the New Hampshire
February 11th. And then Super Tuesday in March,
in like 15 states. ♪♪ And then, maybe we’ll have it
down to five or six candidates. [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Jimmy, Jimmy? -What’s up, dude? -You okay, man? -Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Did you see the debate
last night? [ Laughter ] -Yeah, of course. I mean, I’m super excited for
the Democratic primaries because we’ll probably know who
the nominee is by May, and then just five more months
of debates and attack ads and conventions. ♪♪ -Guys, guys. You okay? -Yeah, sure.
-Yeah, absolutely. -Good, because what’s cool is
that once the election is over, then we get to start
thinking about who should be President in 2024. ♪♪ [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -Hey, James, James,
can you stop playing that? It’s making everything weird. [ Laughter and applause ] Come on, man. [ Applause ] Well, today was day five of
the impeachment hearings. And we heard testimony
from foreign policy experts David Holmes and Fiona Hill. Fiona said that her boss,
John Bolton, thought Rudy Giuliani’s actions
“would come back to haunt us.” I’m sorry, but does
Rudy Giuliani really look like someone
that would haunt you? I mean, come on.
[ Laughter ] Meanwhile, David Holmes
talked about Rudy Giuliani and how Ambassador Sondland
was not a fan. Check this out. -My recollection is that
Ambassador Sondland stated, “Damn it, Rudy. Every time Rudy gets involved,
he goes and effs everything up.” [ Laughter ] -Rudy tried tweeting a response,
but then he dropped his phone, tripped over it,
and fell down a manhole. [ Laughter ] And finally here in New York,
the MTA purposely flooded a New York City subway station
to test its anti-flood system. Take a look at this picture.
Yeah. When they saw that,
New Yorkers were like, “Well, at least it’s water
this time.” We have a great show.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

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  3. This reminds me of that movie the illusionist for some reason…funny thing is I had a dog named Rudy but he died from natural causes though. Died in my moms lap peacefully…it was beautiful in a way.

  4. I love your show!
    But seeing that Pete Buttigieg’s father passed away not too long ago, that allowance joke was not the greatest… 😢

  5. Hi could you invite GOT7 onto your show for an interview. They’re extremely famous and multilingual, four members are fluent in English

  6. Great monologue thanks for those laughs and I'm not mad at NBC or the Late Show- today – but was frustrated yesterday because I needed to DO something big and so I DID!! 🤸‍♀️👍🤸‍♀️👏🤸‍♀️✊and Will Ferrell sure helps ease my broken heart 💦💔💦 I like the part about the Democrats going on and on in 2020, the creepy music 🤣🎶🤣🎹🤣💞👍 and I wonder what others think, well some others prolly not most others but maybe American s are smarter than I know and i don't know – told my husband that last night 🤔🇺🇸 don't know🇺🇸 🤔 because I've been so busy with my head down until today 11-22 cool date 🗓 after Exposing the most destructive female satanic cult on Planet earth – yesterday- Sacred Breath Academy/ Kaya Danielle Leigh = Stay Away‼❕❕‼ Comrades, steer clear👌👌And big huge thanks to Sean Stone for the clues since October 2018🕵️‍♂️🔍🕯🔎💡Anyway, it is so very liberating and encouraging and freeing for my tired heart – learning and exposing a big Truth – that is. Btw, Government official- Handsome Kevin MCCARTHY – yesterday – mentioned or reminded us of past President Hamilton's deep concern way back , regarding the two Party System. He knew it would be disastrous as did other great Men that wrote our Constitution- and yet here we are at the end of 2019 – the10 Democratic bafoons 🤑😱🥵🥶🤪😡🤮🤠😭👺 took the stage – which I cannot torture myself with that so I greatly appreciate the laughs from the = "Last and Lone Ethical and Talented Talk Show"‼❕NBC – the first Network 1947 – is that correct❔ ❕‼🇺🇸💚🇺🇸and the Democratic Bafoon Show just can't go on and on and on into 2020 the United States of America IS a Republic and the 🇺🇸💚🦁🦚Trumps🕊🌹💚🇺🇸 will forever be the Family that leads and Serves the American people per their contract with God ✝️🇺🇸✝️ and we really need to focus on ousting VP Pedophile Satanist Mike Pence!! TODAY- he and scumbags like him are a Danger to the Trump Family so please please please everyone DO something about this!! And I vote for Donald Trump jr.. taking the VP position. Who is on the same page as me out there? Someone called me a troll last night on the VOA and of course I ignore those little internet human rodents🙈🦎🙊🐍🙉🐲 but I am tired of writing on the VOA , hey Jimmy Fallon and NBC do you need an intern?? I will intern for you don't need to pay me my husband makes plenty of money for us. Leme know because it is official- 11-22-19– I am looking for a career change and I'm a really hard worker ☎️📱love Prof Grace

  7. I’m doing three giveaways TODAY in my video because I hit 500 subscribers!!!

    Please disregard if you’re not interested! But I wanted to share the news. 😄

  8. OMG. I actually liked this video from Jimmy. Let's just stop with the superficial debates and just vote #Bernie2020 already.

  9. I dnt really watch jimmy, but this is one of the best monologues I’ve ever seen from him, definitely exceeded expectations

  10. american politics is just distraction. all theater. american capitalism is not capitalism, american democracy is not democracy.

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