House Democrats Reveal Articles of Impeachment Against Trump

-Well, you guys, this is huge. Earlier today, House Democrats unveiled the official
articles of impeachment against President Trump, which the media called giant,
historic, and a very big deal. That’s right — The impeachment has now reached
Baby Yoda status. [ Laughter ] As she announced the charges
against Trump, Nancy Pelosi called it
a solemn day. Yeah, you could barely tell she
was flossing behind the podium. [ Laughter ] “Charges against the president
are very grave. Very serious.
Solemn day.” [ Cheers and applause ] At the press conference,
Adam Schiff said for Congress, the impeachment
is not a matter of facts. It is rather a question of duty. Trump heard that and was like, “Hey, speaking of
question of duty, how many times do you flush? I’m up to the mid teens.” Meanwhile, committee chairman
Jerry Nadler said Trump consistently
puts himself above the country. And in response,
Trump accused Nadler of consistently putting
his pants above his nipples. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Nadler then said,
“We must be clear. No one, not even the president,
is above the law.” Yeah, it’s strange,
but it seemed like Nadler kept using Steven Seagal movies
to explain the impeachment. First, he said, “Not even
the president is above the law.” Then he said, “Trump has left
our democracy under siege,” and that we made
a poor executive decision. And it’s Congress’ job
to be out for justice. And finally, Nadler said
that even though Trump’s hair is red on top,
there’s also a fire down below. [ Laughter ] He kept doing it.
-There you go. [ Cheers and applause ] -While the Democrats
were unveiling their articles of impeachment
against Trump, there was a photo taken
at the press conference. Take a look at this. Yeah, and you can kind of tell
what everyone is thinking. For instance,
Nancy Pelosi is thinking, “Remember,
serious on the outside, Christmas morning
on the inside.” [ Laughter ] Carolyn Maloney is thinking, “I think those five shots
of Jaeger were a bad idea.” Here, you could tell
Eliot Engel is thinking, “I think there’s some soup
in my mustache. Better get it real quick.” Also, Jerry Nadler is thinking, “When does a tie get so wide
that it’s considered a scarf?” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Finally, the painting of
George Washington is thinking, “I shouldn’t have gotten my wife
a Peloton for Christmas.” [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] Just got to —
-Don’t do it. -After the press conference,
a reporter on MSNBC was trying to break down
the articles of impeachment at the Capitol
but had some competition. Take a look at this. -Walk us through
these two specific articles of impeachment.
[ Choir singing ] -Yeah, reporting from
the halls of Congress, which, as you can hear, are filled with the sounds
of holiday cheer. So let’s just go with it. Going through
this short document, there’s two things that they
were trying to demonstrate here. -Wow. Is Nancy Pelosi
in a good mood or what? I mean, like —
♪ Dah who doraze, yahoo oray ♪ Some 2020 news. I saw that Democratic candidates
have until Thursday to qualify for the next debate. Some of them
are getting very desperate. Today, Cory Booker
tried to gain support by wearing a Bernie Sanders wig. I thought that was odd. [ Laughter ] Well, this is a big deal. I saw that Russia
has been banned from competing
in the 2020 Olympics due to a doping scandal. Of course they’re disappointed,
so to cheer up the athletes, Russia has decided to hold
its very own Olympics, and the events
are pretty interesting. For example, you can compete
in the 100-meter dash from bear. You can also compete
in the Chernobyl marathon. [ Audience groans ] And finally,
shirtless horseback riding. It’s going to be
very interesting. -Wow.
-Very interesting. -Can’t wait. -You guys see this? I saw that a Bible-themed
video game is coming out. People are very excited
about this. It allows you to perform
miracles as Jesus. We actually have a clip
of the game. This is the real game.
You can — So you can — This is the game. So apparently,
they’ve updated it so you can perform
some more modern miracles. Like putting a duvet
on a comforter in less than 10 minutes. Or turning water
into White Claw. Or miracles like eating
a Nature Valley granola bar without getting oat gravel
all on your keyboard. And, of course, knowing whether
to swipe or insert the chip on the first try. [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] No. Insert? -Not yet.
-Swipe? -Not yet. -And finally, I saw that the CEO
of Away luggage is stepping down and she’s being replaced with
an executive from Lululemon. The guy from Lululemon
isn’t sure if it’s a great fit, but he’s going to squeeze
himself in there anyway. We have a great show.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Someone needs to write an impeachment pantomime, trump can play himself, no need to more make up – Orange and the giant impeachment… 🍊 🍑

  2. “Call of Doody” is what I feel every morning before I go to the toilet.
    Surely there must be a stripper named “Impeachment” somewhere in America, taking off her “Articles of Impeachment”!

  3. All that comedy won’t help. Trump will also win the next election. It’s in the american system not to care about the person behind the candidate. Voters are superficial.

  4. "Bad publicity is no publicity at all".
    That is an old time jewish Hollywood advertising saying.
    Trump is being victimized to get him reelected. His electorate had become really thin and so the jews who had him elected had to conceive this umpteenth Macchiavellian plot to build up a momentum for the 2020 elections.
    The Democrats (jewish leftist) are all in in the play and tickets can be purchased anywhere on msm and alt.
    The emptiness and baseless accusations speak volumes on this. Had they (Democrats) wanted to impeach him for real they would only have needed to pull his statements and 'special deals' with Israel, the B&R initiatiative and the bilateral agreement, paired all with the 'relocation' of US intellectual property to the illegal Israeli apartheid regime, the Israeli-Chinese and Israeli-Russian 'deals' done, openly, in the last 8 years (yes, it was going on during Obama Hussein too) in weapons and high tech trade agreements.

    Americans should just ignore this sharade and find a new candidate for presidency, someone amonst their own people, someone who represents them, who does not promote Jewish inetersts, someone who shares their culture, their tradition, their religion, and not the criminal interests of a small minority who holds double citizenship and promotes double standards, under the (sudo) religious guise of the tradition and cult-like dogmas of a tiny alien minority who hijacked their government.

  5. The impeachment is a sham! The charges are illegitimate…. They've attempted make a non crime a crime. The Democrats are trying to setup their scam in 2020 after most of them lose all power and Trump is re-elected. They will try to destroy this republic by declaring Trumps lawful re-election illegitimate thus basically destroying this nation. Subversion, Sedition, and Treason is what the Democrats are engaging in. They simply don't like Trump or his policies so their trying to perform this 4 year long coup attempt. Remember the Democrats were calling for Trumps removal BEFORE Trump's inauguration. The evidence is blatant.

  6. The Dems are in trouble if the Fallon is making fun of them! That picture of the Dems is a portrait of Criminals!

  7. That guy drinking coffee behind the new reporter reminds me of the black guy who was doing kung fu in the background before too lol 🤣🤣🤣

  8. WAIT! STOP! DO NOT IMPEACH TRUMP! (just yet). Run the clock right up to next November to keep the flames burning. Don't give Trump the motivation to resign gracefully. It would only benefit the inevitable Pence 2020 campaign instead.

    Like Nixon, Trump will resign before getting impeached. This is the only way this will happen.

    For one thing, the Republican Party needs him to. That would leave Pence as an incumbent president. As such, when it comes down to a campaigning contest between Pence and Biden – a foregone conclusion – The Republicans might be able to hold that office.
    Pence then starts repairing all the damage that Trump did with a hope for little backlash for the pardoning Trump, like Gerald Ford did with Nixon. The sooner he gets installed and get started, the better for the Republican party. and the stronger Pence's chances of winning 2020. The Democrat Party will then be left impotent on the field once without a strong competitor if Trump resigns.

    More importantly, Trump gets to play this within his narcissistic character & style. He will announce it with his righteous indignation of being wrongly persecuted by the Deep State, but because of his such loyal commitment to America he will reluctantly step down – and besides, he is losing so much money for his service to an ungrateful public.

    The 2020 election will be Pence v. Biden – and that will be another tedious choice for our vote.

  9. idk how Jimmy could have Trump on his talk show and then make fun of his impeachment. Pick a side, you're partly responsible for this election so take the responsibility that you should be held accountable for.

  10. Interesting how the intellectually handicapped receive their "news" from fools on comedy shows where they believe only what they want to hear and disregard the truth!

  11. Humane blackish brownish reddish male animal midget Imperial Emperor Nicholas Nicholai Niccolo James the Great Greater Greatest Greatly Greatness Greatnesses say yes orgasm orgasmic orgastic says yeses orgasms orgasmical saying yessing orgasming orgastically orgasmically said yessed orgasmed to his my albino white giantesses girlfriends Princess Seraphina Merriness o' NBC, Princess Jimena Fancifulnesses o' NBC, Princess Jamekka Cordialness o' CBS, Princess Stephanie Colorfulnesses o' CBS, Princess Jimena Kindheartednesses o' ABC, Princess Daphne Davida Specialness o' Comedy Central, Princess Connie Outstandingness o' TBS, Princess Ximena Jinglingness o' China, Empress Narcissa o' Japan, Princess Kimberly Jolliness o' Korea, Princess Valerie Politeness, Princess Markeisha Zanniness, Princess Bella Gaities, Princess Donna Triumphantly, Princess Barbara Obedientness, Princess Williamina o' England, Princess Harriet o' England, "Youthfulize merrymake melody melodic melodious want wantest wanteth wanter wanteress immaculacy youthfulizes merrymakes melodies melodics melodiously wants wanters wanteresses immaculacies immaculate youthfulizing merrymaking melodically melodiosamente(IT) wanting wantings immaculately youthfulized merrymade melodicamente(IT) melodiousness wanted wantedst wantedly wantedness to immaculateness not inside youthify nots insides youthifies insidely youthifying insideness youthified though or anyone."

  12. EVERYBODY KNOWS – Parody of Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen | Don Caron 
    Verse 251:
    Everybody knows obstruction of Congress
    Everybody knows abuse of power
    Everybody knows articles of impeachment
    Everybody knows it is zero hour
    Everybody knows the FBI
    Is being undermined by that Barr wise guy
    Looks like Boss Nass in repose
    Everybody knows

    House Democrats unveil articles of impeachment | ABC News
    Impeachment Light?
    Archive: Impeach Trump
    The Emperor's New Articles of Impeachment
    Trump’s Impeachment Hearing
    William Barr is smart enough to know not to say this | Anderson Cooper
    Former DOJ IG On Attorney General Barr: ‘There’s Never Been Anything Like This’ | Deadline | MSNBC
    Fact-checking Barr’s dispute of inspector general’s report on the FBI, Russia probe
    Harris Asks Horowitz If He Is Concerned About Giuliani's Work In Ukraine | NBC News
    Kamala Harris uses IG hearing to connect the dots between Bill Barr and Giuliani’s corrupt schemes
    Rep. Jim Himes takes down the GOP defense of Trump
    Meeting Boss Nass (1:00)

    Verse 252:
    Everybody knows he welcomed back Sergei
    Everybody knows the Russians shout hooray!
    Everybody knows he’s back in the US
    Back in the US of A
    Everybody knows the IG clarified
    The FBI's Russia probe was justified 
    Trump’s witch hunt explodes
    Everybody knows

    Trump gave Russia’s top envoy a White House meeting. He still hasn’t done that for Ukraine.
    Durham rejects ‘some conclusions’ of Horowitz report

    “This authoritative, objective report completely demolishes President Trump’s false claims and right-wing conspiracy theories that the Russia investigation involved political bias or other improper motive” said Sen. Richard Blumenthal D-Conn. “It explodes President Trump’s fictitious narrative about a ‘witch hunt’ or ‘deep state’ cabal causing a well-founded federal inquiry.”

    Leonard Cohen’s Everybody Knows (1988) has been described by critics as "bitterly pessimistic" yet funny, or more strongly "a bleak prophecy about the end of the world as we know it.”

    At the 2017 Juno gala dinner, son Adam Cohen recalled that his father "was one of the only people I know, who had the most absurd prediction that anybody in my midst would dare have: he predicted Donald Trump was going to be the president of the United States, which of course made us all laugh hysterically." 

    Leonard Cohen predicted Trump victory, says son

    Leonard Cohen died November 7, 2016 at age 82— one day before Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election.

  13. We have our guns ready in the South – ready to fight you idiots. We stand with Trump! We are ready to break from the liberal con-artists that your are. Let the Pelosi's, the AOC's, and the Elizabeth Warren's, keep their people in slavery with double-tongue. | We will govern ourselves | Cant wait to come for the Fallons, Myers, Colbert's, and Noah's who spread lies. Cant wait to break from the morons who listen to this shit, and have no clue how to run a country – because if we ran a country on your politics (you idiot Democrats) our country would look like shit infested San Francisco. If you disagree with me, that's because you're probably too busy slaving away for some liberal company who says they believe in equality. That way they can get you to buy into their bullshit, while taking all your fucking money, and you're too dumb to realize it. Fuck y'all idiots, go live in poverty and let these idiots like Colbert be on ur TV. Literally, go live in a pile of shit with Fallon, Noah, Colbert, Myers, and Kimmel – it'll be okay, they'll tell you its "humanitarian." 🤣 you'll believe them too 🤣 plz start the civil war so we dont have to see this atrocious shit anymore, and actually read comments from "U.S." citizens who believe this nonsense. Come at me bro, I have my AR-15 fully ready! Not sry Buttigieg lovers! 🤣

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