After Demanding Public Hearings, Republicans Complain They’re “Boring”


WELCOME! WHOO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OH, MY GOSH! IT’S LIKE WARMING YOURSELF
BESIDE A ROARING FIRE, JOHN.>>Jon: THAT’S RIGHT.>>Stephen: WELCOME TO “THE
LATE SHOW,” EVERYBODY. I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE’S STILL
TALKING ABOUT YESTERDAY’S LIVE TELEVISED
IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS, INCLUDING ME, AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT
IT IN TONIGHT’S “DON AND THE GIANT IMPEACH.”>>IT’S ALL A HOAX. IT’S A SCAM.>>STEPHEN: YESTERDAY, THE
ACTING U.S. AMBASSADOR TO UKRAINE, BILL TAYLOR, TESTIFIED
“THAT A STAFFER OVERHEARD PRESIDENT TRUMP ON A PHONE CALL
DISCUSS “THE INVESTIGATIONS” IN UKRAINE WITH E.U. AMBASSADOR
GORDON SONDLAND, IN PUBLIC, “AT A RESTAURANT.” YES, THEY WERE EATING AT QUID
PRO QUIZNOS. ( LAUGHTER )
THE STAFF MEMBER IN QUESTION IS STATE DEPARTMENT OFFICIAL AND
JEFFREY DAHMER’S VEGETARIAN COUSIN, DAVID HOLMES. HE’S GOING TO TESTIFY BEHIND
CLOSED DOORS TOMORROW– BUT THERE’S ALREADY ONE BOMBSHELL. THERE’S NOW A SECOND U.S. OFFICIAL WHO OVERHEARD TRUMP’S
CALL WITH SONDLAND. SURIYA JAYANTI, A FOREIGN
SERVICE OFFICER BASED IN KYIV. HOW LOUD WAS HE TALKING? TRUMP MUST BE VERY BAD AT THE
GAME “TELEPHONE.” (AS TRUMP)
“WHAT’S THAT? GOT IT. COME HERE, COME HERE… I LOVE DOING CRIMES!”
( LAUGHTER ) SO, TAYLOR’S TESTIMONY WAS
HISTORIC. UNLESS YOU ASK KELLYANNE CONWAY,
WHO WAS NOT ENTERTAINED.>>YOU TUNE IN, YOU’RE EITHER
SOUND ASLEEP, OR CAN’T FOLLOW: HE SAID/SHE SAID – SHE SAID/HE
SAID/HE SAID. IT IS A BUNCH OF “GOSSIP GIRLS.”>>STEPHEN: WELL, IS IT BORING,
OR IS IT “GOSSIP GIRL?” BECAUSE IT CAN’T BE BOTH. “GOSSIP GIRL” WAS A VERY
SUCCESSFUL SHOW. THAT’S WHY YOU’RE REFERENCING
IT! AND IT’S WHY I’M STILL NOT OVER
SERENA ENDING UP WITH DAN! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NATE! BUT IT WASN’T JUST KELLYANNE. MY GIRLS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT IT WASN’T JUST KELLYANNE. EVEN NBC NEWS TWEETED THAT THE
TESTIMONIES “LACKED THE PIZZAZZ NECESSARY TO CAPTURE PUBLIC
ATTENTION.” YEAH, THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING
FOR IN DEEPLY-TROUBLING CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS: PIZZAZZ. ( LAUGHTER )
IT’S WHY, DURING IRAN CONTRA, OLIVER NORTH CAME DRESSED AS
ELTON JOHN. ( LAUGHTER )
AND SINCE WHEN IS PIZZAZZ THE BENCHMARK OF TRUSTWORTHINESS? I DON’T WANT A PILOT WHO SAYS,
“ATTENTION, PASSENGERS, WE’LL BE TOUCHING DOWN IN DENVER IN JUST
A MOMENT. BUT FIRST: BARREL ROLL, BARREL
ROLL, SHIMMY, SHIMMY, AND WATER LANDING.” ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) TRUMP’S MAIN ARGUMENT AGAINST
IMPEACHMENT IS THAT HIS JULY 25 CONVERSATION WITH ZELENSKY WAS A
“PERFECT PHONE CALL.” IT’S SO PERFECT, HE’S TRYING TO
REPLACE IT WITH A DIFFERENT ONE. EARLIER THIS WEEK, HE TWEETED,
“I WILL BE RELEASING THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE FIRST, AND
THEREFORE MORE IMPORTANT, PHONE CALL WITH THE UKRAINIAN
PRESIDENT BEFORE WEEK’S END!” SO, IF IT’S FIRST, IT’S THE MOST
IMPORTANT. BUT THIS TRANSCRIPT IS ACTUALLY
THE SECOND ONE HE’S RELEASING, SO BY TRUMP LOGIC… I’M JOKING. TRUMP HAS NO LOGIC. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) NOW, THIS FIRST UKRAINE CALL
HE’S GOING TO RELEASE IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT. IT TOOK PLACE ON APRIL 21, RIGHT
AFTER ZELENSKY WAS ELECTED PRESIDENT, AND HAS BEEN
DESCRIBED BY OFFICIALS WHO HEARD IT AS “VERY BRIEF,” AND AIMED
MOSTLY AT OFFERING INTRODUCTORY PLEASANTRIES. THOUGH I’M NOT SURE INTRODUCTORY
PLEASANTRIES WITH DONALD TRUMP ARE EVER VERY BRIEF. (AS TRUMP)
“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ELECTION. YOU KNOW, I ALSO WON AN
ELECTION. I’LL NEVER FORGET THE NEWS
SAYING “DONALD TRUMP HAS WON WISCONSIN.” DOES UKRAINE HAVE A WISCONSIN? ANYWAY, SHUT UP. I’M TALKING. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I
WAS ON MY REAL ESTATE FRIEND’S SEX BOAT.” ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) AT LUNCH TODAY, TRUMP SHOWED
SOME G.O.P. SENATORS THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE FIRST CALL,
INCLUDING NORTH DAKOTA REPUBLICAN AND MAN WHO TELLS
HIS BARBER “JUST GIVE ME THE CHARLIE BROWN,” KEVIN CRAMER. ( LAUGHTER )
SENATOR CRAMER HAD A BLOCKBUSTER REVIEW OF TRUMP’S GAME-CHANGING
MOST-IMPORTANT FIRST PHONE CALL: “NOTHING IN THERE VERY
INTERESTING.” WHICH IS ALSO THE SIGN ON MIKE
PENCE’S DOOR. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SURE, HE’S A NICE GUY. SO WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO
PROVE? (AS TRUMP)
“SEE? IN THIS CALL, I DIDN’T ASK FOR
ANY DIRT ON JOE BIDEN. SO, WHEN YOU AVERAGE IT OUT, I
ONLY COMMITTED HALF A CRIME.” ( LAUGHTER )
NOW THAT TELEVISED IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS HAVE STARTED, TRUMP
KNOWS IT’S TIME TO ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE: MAKE PEOPLE LIKE
HIM. FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS
HE’S BEEN REACHING OUT TO REPUBLICAN LAWMAKERS, TRYING TO
RALLY SUPPORT BY MAKING PERSONAL PHONE CALLS, INVITING KEY
REPUBLICANS TO EVENTS, AND EVEN HOSTING A PAIR OF MOVIE NIGHTS
AT THE EXECUTIVE MANSION. TRUMP HAS EVEN TRIED TO MAKE
SMALL TALK WITH CONGRESS MEMBERS, WITH TOPICS RANGING
FROM CONAN THE HERO DOG TO THE WORLD SERIES. CAN YOU IMAGINE TRYING TO MAKE
SMALL TALK WITH DONALD TRUMP? (AS TRUMP)
“OKAY, SO NOW WE CHIT CHAT. DO YOU WANT DOG OR BALL? OR MY REAL ESTATE FRIEND’S SEX
BOAT. ALSO INVOLVES A DOG AND A BALL.” ( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP WILL DO ANYTHING TO WOO REPUBLICANS TO HIS SIDE, HE EVEN
SIGNED A TRUMP BOARD GAME FOR ONE MEMBER. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN’T
FAMILIAR WITH THE TRUMP BOARD GAME, IT’S LIKE “MONOPOLY,”
EXCEPT NOBODY HAS AS MUCH MONEY AS THEY SAY THEY DO AND EVERYONE
SHOULD GO TO DIRECTLY TO JAIL.

Author Since: Mar 11, 2019

  1. Colbert. Less crappy bands at the end of your show, have Batiste entertain. He has real talent. When you have these crappy bands at the end, I switch off. I will be surprised if you are on another year. Listen to people who are,for now , still watching you

  2. It’s the Fox double take: their talking heads are saying it’s all too boring & complicated to bother with. If they persuade their evening viewers that actually watching the hearings is dull & pointless, those people will never see the truth come out 🤦‍♂️🙅‍♂️🤷‍♂️ & Trump wins 🤢

  3. Please read this. Let's elect a Democrat in 2020 if this idiot doesn't get impeached. Then, let's lobby a Democratic Congress to get rid of the antiquated and now useless Electoral College, which only creates a zero sum game in presidential elections, and essentially invalidates the voice of the real voters (3 million more popular votes, people!). Lastly, let's pressure the Justice Department to pass realistic harsh sentences on Trump, his entourage, and evil associates.

  4. It’s an impeachment hearing wtf do want it to be interesting 😂😂😂 they have too much fun with trump so they want everything to be dumb and entertaining smfh

  5. I think it would be especially funny if Warren or Sanders ends up getting the nomination as it would mean Trump ruined his political career trying to dig up dirt on Biden for nothing.

  6. Stephen Colbert is on the pay roll of the DNC. If you agree with DNC viewpoint then okay but you wouldn't be getting anything here other than DNC viewpoint. That is why they pay him and fund his show.

  7. If the hearings had been explosive, dramatized, or adequately pizzazzeded, Republicans would have cried about the emotional, irrational histrionics, and "show trials."

  8. Ok, I'm going to have to disagree with Colbert for once. For 30 years, whenever I've had those conversations about what makes for a really special experience, it's the same answer, to start by leaning in real close to my ear like it's a microphone and saying "I don't recall." Three sexiest words in the English language! I'm real easy on that score!

  9. Imapplement. That's even in bible. Flippy, Stephy. It keeps doctor away but not another one with long white shirt on. I meant Dentist.

  10. Oh, man… I hope the impeachment doesn't get more "pizazz." It's almost kinda nice listening to coherent sentences and carefully considered answers. Nice, you know, if it wasn't all so insanely terrifying.

  11. GOPtards find it boring because they're keeping their fingers in their ears.
    It must suck to know you got scammed by a conman as stupid as Trump.

  12. What are you talking about? Impeachment? what impeachment? (A staffer overhead that he told him that he said to me)??? Seriously?

  13. Trump is an acolyte to the Russians.  He has never been man enough to step on the battlefield for America. Therefore he can't possibly ever appreciate respect comprehend loyalty devotion discipline commitment stability heart that pumps blood throughout the body of  the American soldier who lived fought became partially or completely paralyzed   dying on the battlefield  So the next best thing in his feeble mind frail body is to be a traitor.  So if you support somebody here in life whose soft lazy out of shape over fed undernourished feebleminded physically inadequate submissive subservient. Which could be genetic hereditary or simply a generic learned behavior which I just specified how to be neglectful to oneself which is more pathetic at of the two. In this case Trump is a combination of the worst-case scenarios of those two extreme possibilities. So What kind of spiritual kickback to you think you are entitled to for that type of support.   Even if you are not a trumpet blower"  but are freely living dining to the lowest standards of quality at the same time living dying off having only used the smallest percentage of a fraction of the true potential you were first born with.  You're just as bad if not worse. Case closed mercy forgiveness spiritual welfare are not changing those facts protecting carrying compensating any souls or spirits that are freely connected to a life that does not do its best to improve upon and maintain the quality of it.  Which can be demonstrated by doing your best to become physically fit mentally sound spiritually balanced being able to express physical freedom living up to the pleasure potential responsibility of femininity and masculinity which validates confirms signifies one as being true towards love honor and the creation of life.   In layman's terms if life is not free why the hell would death be any cheaper.  The good news souls and spirits have paid out are picking up the tab on the end results of dirty low-paying jobs. True punishment is souls and spirits have been are being, managed directed maintain swapped out implemented  with all the disease sickness illness pain injuries suffering torment abuse and neglect hunger" that has been allowed to occur manifesting throughout the history of mankind into what it is today thanks to people like Donald Trump. Here's the deal you're either part of the world solutions or exacerbating the world's problems either way each and every one of us is being held spiritually accountable for each and every moment. Whether you believe are not as secondary to the truth.          Now I wish and pray for my soul and spirit to be held spiritually accountable too the statements I proclaim. I guarantee you never see hear another body man in power persons of legal religious authority leaders ever freely validate the statements they proclaim with that level of certainty. One reason they don't have the best interest of the majority of the population's needs at heart) another reason could be they cum from a breed of cowards or  simply have a lifestyle that suggests confirms validates them as being feebleminded physically inadequate submissive subservient it doesn't get any worse than that case closed.   Hope you don't miss the deadline. Chuckle Laugh smile grin smile I say with confidence don't be scared as I know you're scared. S.R.F.

  14. Unfortunately, the Department of Justice and Senate are covering up and protecting Trump, therefore almost imposible to impeach him. I guess the only way out of this madness is VOTE him out!

  15. Colbert you sellout prostitute of the elites. Why dont you promote Bernie or Tulsi ever?? Oh yes their doners arent your employers..
    Kindergarden bully humor of Trump wont get him impeached..
    You are an excuse of a man whoring for viewers..
    Also Epstein didnt kill himself

  16. RepubliKKKunt criminal RACIST BIGOTED party = most mundane and replusive partisan self serving assholes!
    Trumpf must have used a megaphone for his call to Ukraine!

  17. Didn't laugh once, Stephen it's over, just leave while you still have some dignity. Colbert Report was awesome, this is just licking the democrat's balls. You have no real meaning in these jokes, they're all hearsay and Trump has proven many times to have a coherent speech full of meaning and reason. The way you cut things is supposed to make him look bad but you never show the whole picture. You fu*king suck.

  18. Stephen Colbert's hysterical. Always was, I loved The Colbert Report but The Late Show & Our Cartoon President literally make me laugh hard enough to have sore abs the next morning.

  19. It's straight out of the Republican/Fox News playbook; when you don't have a good counter argument, change the subject. That doesn't work? Change the subject again! They're con artists playing to an audience who wants to be conned.

  20. Why does everyone expect everything to be constantly entertaining? We're not children. Not everything is about performing clowns and funny kittens. I can't believe anyone would complain that important legal matters are boring. Grow up and attend to your ADHD if you can't follow a story without dancing bears and neon flashing graphics.

  21. Republicans: Stop it with the secret depositions!….k…wait…aren't' Republicans present there too?…oh well here ya go……Republicans: This is a TV show spectacle! (boring one at that)….hmm.. So do you want it televised or not, Republicans? Can't have it both ways.

  22. The thing about the "lack of pizazz" is that the people it needs to attract the attention of are the people who support trump and, unfortunately, that's not really the demographic watching C-SPAN or will even read up on the hearings. They want drama and excitement. Preferably an explosion or two.

  23. These day's, people always expect to be entertained by everything they watch so they judge the impeachment hearings based on how exciting it is rather than actually absorbing the details of the evidence. People need to get out of their reality tv mindset and realise that legal inquiries/ trials are meant to be boring so that the only thing influencing your assessment is the evidence. So all the professional commentators need to stop framing this as exciting or boring and start explaining and highlighting the details to their audience.

  24. When is Kellyanne Conjob just going to piss off. She has no credibility and the talking points she vomites every time she sees a camera are nothing but lies and alternative facts so she doesn't contribute anything positive to society. I honestly don't know how people like Kellyanne can do a job that contributes nothing to the world. How do you keep showing up every day knowing that your work is so unnecessary that no one would even notice if you didn't.

  25. Why are the Republicans proudly declaring they can't understand this fairly simple exchange…. And why are the dems not calling their gop colleagues out for this inability to comprehend simple exchanges and implying they may not be smart enough to comprehend the crimes of the President?

  26. Boring a hole deep down into the Swamp, in hopes of draining it.
    It is not just that the Republicans are treating this all as a joke, and that this is their only possible "defense" – /
    It is super sad that this extreeeemely stupid tactic is WORKING for them!

  27. And now Fox News is spinning it that they had the biggest #ImpeachmentHearings crowd size, soundly beating CNN. hahahaha. Fox viewers are a captive audience… as in wheelchairs….

  28. I hate Trump. Worst potus ever. Love colbert. But imitating trump is the most dumb, annoying thing ever. And covering nothing but Trump is dumb too

  29. Wow everyone in the comments section are just a load of leftist imbeciles who have no political grounds or knowledge like everyone in the left party you are all bigots. While you have nothing better to do with your life then besides trash an amazing president with false pretenses alongside a late night talk show host who knows nothing about politics and gets triggered at the sight with someone with a opposing opinion we republicans have the facts to back our statements and the educations to go along. I can take all of you on you people are all simplistic minded and when America goes downhill because of you guys it’s your problem, I mean look at what your style of politics earned you in California. Higher cost of living, smaller wages, strict gun laws that don’t work, and the ability for you guys to kill babies. For shame and you guys want to talk trash about the best president we probably have needed in the last couple of decades

  30. It's a good ploy for the republican Trump supporters to spread the witness testimonies are boring. It is their low IQ/ low attention span people that are Trump voters so any way to encourage them against hearing the truth works in Trumps favor. Don't want to sway any of the deplorables god forbid they might grow a principle. Should we apologize if the republicans are bored or inconvenienced because the rest actually care that we have a constitution?

  31. Trumps biggest foe is the truth. Not to mention these republicans are accessories, enablers and obstructers as guilty as Trump and history will record it exactly as such.

  32. So far, over 30 thousand upvotes…761 downvotes LOL… and covfefe poo on President Grabber Von Hush Money McSpurs. I mean Trump makes up all these silly childish insulting nicknames for everyone so why can't we for him? Here's another.. Adolf Twitler hahaha…

  33. Just to note millions upon millions of us have been watching the impeachment inquiry hearings that have been made public as these republicans requested. We are enjoying it so thanks. Too bad if a few are bored by justice. Justice is a dish best served on youtube.

  34. His supporters don't care about this, that's what they hired him for, to be a third-rate Tony Soprano. They want him to run things this way, he's the "tough, cutthroat, patriotic businessman." If he's to be removed from office it's to be because he loses the election (and the electoral college.) Persuade America with better ideas, campaign your ass off and back up your policies.

  35. Dems laid an egg dude , they have nothing. Adam schiff proves that everytime he speaks. You want president Trump out of office so bad ,prove it. Show up and vote in a little less than1 year from now. Then you can support the dems and there Ridiculous policies, that will drag this country down for a very long time 👎

  36. So now 2nd hand testimony is worthless? I mean not to mention this is not a legal trial but an impeachment inquiry I would think any information should be considered. Or for example I tell the police I overheard someone say they shot his girlfriend. Should the police just say "sorry can't do nothing hearsay? Or should they consider it? But all that aside if they would like more 1st hand testimony maybe they can request their king lift the gag order on all those witnesses? Ya think?

  37. The republicans keep flip flopping between calling the impeachment inquire a "circus", and "boring". Seems they have difficulty deciding with way to diminish the value of facts and truth. Wouldn't want any of that getting out now.

  38. The headline reads like a group of perpetually unhappy/fickle wrestling fans.
    "WE'RE SICK OF VINCE PUSHING BIG GUYS AND PART-TIMERS!!! PUSH KOFI KINGSTON!!! MAKE KOFI WWE CHAMPION!!! BOOK IT, VINCE!!!"
    Kofi beats Daniel Bryan to become WWE Champion at WrestleMania 35, then has a decent 6-month title reign
    "Meh, Kofi was never that interesting. Same old jumping and flying around. He's burying younger talent."
    Kofi inevitably gets fed to Brock Lesnar to lose his title in less than 30 seconds
    "YES!!! FINALLY A REAL CHAMPION!!" 🤣🤣🤣

  39. WTF…has the rules changed in Congress? Didn't they use to prosecute these liars for perjury, and hold those that deny subpoenas in contempt!?

  40. The basic belief of Adolf Hitler and his minion Josef Goebbels is as follows (and it is obvious that Donald Trump and his Administration are FIRM believers of this political maneuver): “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”

  41. How are those ratings holding up Stephen? Your ratings are sinking so low I expect you to pop up somewhere in China. Now that is some hole.

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